Setting goals is something done better late than never, right? I’ve never really been one for resolutions. They always felt destined to fail. How could a mildly-intoxicated-on-New-Years’-Eve Gabbi know what the year would hold? How can even a sober, level-headed Gabbi predict the future?
I just don’t have that much faith in my ability to guess. So I’ve decided to set goals rather than direct resolutions. Easier to internally track the progress of and less debilitating when I decide to let one go.
ACT WITH INTENTION.
I’m often incredibly indecisive. I overthink, especially about mundane and rather unimportant decisions.
But I often act indecisively when I have an exceptionally clear idea of what I want, but deny it when prompted.
Why? I’m not entirely sure.
Maybe I’m worried about being branded ‘too much’ or ‘too dramatic.’ But this year, it’s my goal to change. Whether it’s everyday life or concerning my blog, I am working toward making the decisions that I want.
TUNE IN TO WHAT MY BODY NEEDS.
I thought about making my goal to be ‘go to the gym x amount of times a week’ or ‘make sure to watch my diet.’ But I decided to do one better. It’s about listening to what I need.
Sometimes I have overly ambitious goals about my week. Or I get emotionally thrown off by something.
Endorphins may make you happier, but when you can’t bear to look at yourself in the mirror due to a bout of low self-esteem, then getting there often becomes a Herculean task.
There’s been plenty of days where I got less than three hours of sleep and was starving because I decided to only eat during ‘normal’ hours, and then I got up and went to a class which left me feeling faint rather than stronger. Your diet and fitness regimen needs to work with your life though, which means you may need to allow for some flexibility.
I am trying my best to constantly check in with myself and see what my body needs. Does it need a cookie, a bowl of soup, hitting that early morning class, or sleeping those extra fifteen minutes?
While I am striving to be healthier and constantly living my best life, I’m well aware that there will be rough days ahead. But there will also be days where it will be wonderful.
This year, I am working toward loving my body at whatever weight I’m at and consciously working to give it what it needs.
FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BEING WRONG.
I like being liked. And I generally like avoiding conflict. Which makes me incredibly cautious about how I phrase opinions. I make general statements and ensure that it’s my opinion and explain why I’ve come to that conclusion as if offering an excuse in case you find something wrong with me or my ideas.
I soften opinions with ‘I think,’ ‘I believe,’ ‘well, in this specific circumstance,’ ‘generally,’ and a myriad of other words that make me feel more palatable. If I’m not sharing a strong opinion or have already made allowances that I’m likely wrong, then what issue could you take with what I’m saying?
Standing for nothing yields fewer arguments. Opinions spoken softly or offered as suggestions aren’t intimidating.
There are plenty of times that I should have said something, but was worried about the possibility that I could misstep; I over-read the room that I was in.
This year, I am working toward being more authentic with my opinions and allowing myself to be wrong.
BE MORE GRACIOUS.
Compliments are nice. But basking in the compliments of others is considered vain. I’ve often asked for other’s opinions of myself under the ruse that I’d like to be more ‘self-aware’ when I’m really just curious what you think of me.
But for someone that does enjoy being recognized for her achievements and her commendable traits, why is my first reaction to either question the compliment or immediately feel the need to offer one in return (however genuine the sentiment or the compliment I give in return is)?
My answer to a compliment shouldn’t be ‘No, let me explain all the ways that you’re better and therefore invalidate what was said about me.’ My answer to a compliment should be graciousness.
This year, I am working toward accepting compliments without wondering about intention.
DON’T ATTACH A WARNING LABEL.
Remember me talking about being self-aware? I often find it one of my admirable qualities. Although I then have to admit that I am often harsher on myself because I somehow find qualities in myself as melodramatic or aggravating when it’s endearing in another.
In my pursuit of being self-aware, I understand the multitude of issues and traumas that I am constantly working through. My inner consciousness is constantly assessing and re-assessing the situation at hand, and it often feels like I’m playing a game of chess when interacting with others.
What’s the best way to go about this? How can I do what I need to do and be likable? What does this person see when they see me? Are they aware of how much is going on? Will they still care about me when they know how much I feel like I’m constantly battling?
But, honestly, I just need to stop.
Any multitude of issues does not make someone less valuable. I am not any less deserving because of what has happened to me or how I’ve let others treat me.
I don’t have to warn potential friends or romantic partners of what they’re getting themselves into by getting to know me.
I don’t need to offer an explanation for every decision I make in order to make you understand why I did it or why I am the way that I am.
This year, I am choosing what I share with others. I am allowing myself to care and be. I am working to not see myself as some tragic commodity who is dragging around emotional baggage to ward off newcomers.
HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SAY NO. AND DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR IT.
Just because I can doesn’t mean that I always should. Just because someone wants to know doesn’t mean I have to tell them. Just because someone expects me to doesn’t mean that I’m going to do it.
I’m one of those people that says yes to almost anything, especially if it’s helping someone else out. (Not to be confused with the person that tries everything once; I’m not that spontaneous.)
But this can often be detrimental, taking on the physical and emotional labour of your life with a number of other commitments. And if I didn’t want to or just didn’t have the energy to, that wouldn’t be a good enough excuse to say, “You know what? I can’t right now.”
This year, I want things to be different. I want my time to have value and that starts by me valuing and respecting my worth and time, and not being apologetic whenever someone doesn’t treat me as I would treat them.
Will I still likely volunteer myself for things? Sure. Will I say yes to something that brings me out of my comfort zone? Absolutely. But it’s going to be on my terms.
I am working toward prioritizing myself and not apologizing for it.
__
So those are my six goals for 2020, which I am hoping will bring about internal and external change in my life. It may be difficult at times, but I am determined to always be living my best life and I believe that these are the first steps to ensuring that.
But I want to know how you’re working to both care and better yourself this year! Let me know what are some of your goals for the year.
What are you working on to make sure that you are living your best life?
Comments